Saying No to parasites! Pt. 1

You stay and provide for an unemployed boyfriend for two years, you work unpaid after-hours while the Boss is at holiday, you pick up your husband underwears thrown all-over, you pay bills for your extravagant wive, you cook daily for your TV-watching roommate who says " I cant cook or clean", you keep giving answers and assignments to other students, you buy airtime for your girlfriend who is a student like you, you pledge your whole salary because " The Lord said so" says the Pastor, you make babies for your mother not to be lonely... all you do is give give give and say yes yes yes to parasites,. Well, if you are not stiff-necked, you must learn to say NO!

 A parasite is a person who has the ability to provide for themselves but prefers the privilege of providing their needs through your hard work. Many Christians feel like it is being good or Christian to keep giving to people who don't give back, appreciate, attempt to help themselves or feel entitled to your help. Parasites are very manipulative; they say " I raised you and suffered for you" , " The Bible says..." , " If you love me..." , " You are my only hope", " Please help me, I promise..." They feed over your compassion and your weakness of unassertiveness and that is why you must learn to protect yourself from these exploitive parasites..

In 2007, I had financial difficulties when I discovered that 90% of the calls on my cellphone were dialled out and that more than 60 % of the calls where made after somebody had sent me a “Please call me” free text message for me to call them back. I further realised that the people who sent “please call me’s” actually wanted to talk their own issues or worse- they wanted to ask me for a favour when I call them. Now, was it love when I called them and they never called me even when they could? Some of them even just buzz or give you a missed call so you can call them back but that shows that they actually have air time to call but they don't because they know you lack an ability to say No! I know that I am cheap and stingy to some degree ( it also means that I am enjoying writing this) but is it Godly to keep giving to people who expect you to give meanwhile they are able to provide for themselves? Would Jesus keep giving to parasites?

Jesus fed multitudes miraculously and out of compassion using fish and bread on two occasions. And guess what, they kept coming and probably even called their friends to save their lunch money and come to the service because lunch is for free at McJesus' Basket. So, on that day they met my Jesus in the mood :-

John 6:26NLT Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, you want to be with Me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs.

Jesus refused to keep giving to parasites! I would later give more references where Jesus refused to be abused or manipulated because it is not Godly or a sign of love when you allow people to take advantage of you.

Often people manipulate us emotionally or spiritually to make us give them out of guilt or fear of not being “good” or “Christian”. You probably have received an email instructing you to do things if you love Jesus or for God to do something great that day. I have switched on Christian television and radio stations to hear pastors manipulate people to give saying “If you want God to perform that miracle, pledge that R1000 now!”, “Sow a seed for your breakthrough !”. So, you keep giving and giving and giving but never received as promised but you can’t challenge it because you are manipulated to “fear God" .

I recently received an email from Crime Intelligence’s Lt Col. M J Krugel stating that if we meet a lost child asking to be taken to some address and that we mustn’t do it because that child is used to get women gang raped and men robbed and killed. So, does it mean that I am guilty before God if I take the child to police station instead of the address or if I save my life by passing? Must I "help" the child reluctantly in fear? Is that how God wants us to give? 

2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don't give reluctantly or in response to pressure. " For God loves a person who gives cheerfuly"

There it is:- " Dont give reluctantly or in response to pressure" ! You cant be working in Johannesburg and be able to fetch your woman everyday from Pretoria to Midrand after work. She must take taxis! What love got to do with it? Learn to say, No! Is love supposed to be taking over other people’s responsibilities or being their slaves? If she loves you, she wouldn't insist on her own way because:-

1 Corinthians 13:5 NLT" ... love does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable and it does not keep record of being wronged."

This means that your girl must understand and not get irritated... and she mustn't bring it up some other day! Do not be manipulated by "love" or even scriptures because Satan attempted to manipulate Jesus using scriptures by quoting " it is written..." ( Matthews 4). Some of you get manipulated by the devil who says, " if you say no to your husband or boss, then you are not submissive to authority or if you say no to your wive or anybody asking then you have no love" . Well, it's true that the Bible says we must submit to authority and honor our parents but does it mean that we have to keep saying yes to all their ungodly demands? Could Jesus allow authorities to push Him around?

Luke 13:31-32 NLT At that time some Pharisees said to Him, "Get away from here if You want to live! Herod Antipas wants to kill You!" 32 Jesus replied, "Go tell that fox that I will keep on casting out demons and healing people today and tomorrow; and the third day I will accomplish My purpose.

Jesus did not allow to be threatened by authorities or king Herod or be moved from doing what God ordained Him to do. Was Jesus disrespectful to call Herod a fox?

Luke 2:48-51 AMP  And when they [Joseph and Mary] saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, Child, why have You treated us like this? Here Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You [distressed and tormented].  49  And He said to them, How is it that you had to look for Me? Did you not see and know that it is necessary [as a duty] for Me to be in My Father's house and [occupied] about My Father's business?  50  But they did not comprehend what He was saying to them.  51  And He went down with them and came to Nazareth and was [habitually] obedient to them; and his mother kept and closely and persistently guarded all these things in her heart.

Verse 51 shows us that Jesus was obedient to His parents but He didn't allow them to push Him around and most importantly like in the case of Herod, He did not allow them to stop Him from doing what God sent Him to do. Jesus communicated His feelings clearly to people around Him to protect Himself from being abused. On the next offering, we deal with this issue along with other issues of loving people enough to allow them to suffer the consequences of their own actions. I would also introduce Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend's psychological approach in this issue from their book, Boundaries.