“No. I’m going to hell. I should have stayed in church when my parents forced me to”, Cheddar remorsed as he stirred on the floor. “No don’t say that! It’s wrong what you did but God wants you to freely and willingly come to Him. Look…” Themba repositioned himself to face directly at Cheddar’s eyes, “You are not going to hell. God never condemns anyone to hell. People send themselves to hell by refusing to accept the freely given love and Grace that God gives through Jesus. We usually feel guilty and the sin in us tries to condemn us when we come close to God, the light. Hell’s task is not for humans but the devil and sin”.
With a mixture of a little spark and confusion, Cheddar asked, “So, why did God give us AIDS to die if we sin? … and what do you know anyway? My father is a pastor and he says..”. “It’s not what I know but what I have experienced myself…. Your father is a pastor? So, you are a Christian? “No. I stopped going to church because they were telling us not to sin but every Sunday they were excommunicating someone on stage because they were chowing each other, I mean …committing adultery. I was young and I wanted to play now, so that I don’t make their mistake when I am old. Besides, girls don’t respect you if you don’t have experience; they leave you. I saw Tu Pac on TV reporting that the reason he calls women with the B-word is because he used to respect women, writing poems and stuff but the girls used to run to Thugs who disrespected them. And look at his achievements after his decision”
Themba looked excited when he replied, “We live in a fallen world and though I know one girl who is not like that, Tu Pac was right about the girls that run after bad guys. I have experienced his pain before”.
“ You and the girls? I’ve never seen you in three weeks talking to a girl” Cheddar said sarcastically. Themba responded with joyful praise “ I have been around and through a lot but I thank God who saved me”. “So what happened? She left you for a Tsotsi … or maybe even a rich guy?”
“Yes!” Themba first paused. “ When I first got here in Jozi, I met a very beautiful girl from Soweto who was studying her final year at UJ and we loved the same stuff from music to movies. I fell in love with the girl and secretly I decided that I want to marry her because she even said she was a virgin. Few weeks down the line, after getting a new job, she started being very busy at work claiming that it’s because she is an intern. Sometimes she would not return my calls but I would forget about it when I see her because I loved her. One day I got a call from her friend notifying me that Khanyisile’s father died. Everyone in Soweto was shocked because he was a healthy famous pastor.” “a Pastor who died? Soweto? Khanyisile? I only know Pastor Tau who died …. but left us a gorgeous daughter! ” Cheddar intervened giggling.
“Yes. So, I decided to …” . “ whoa! Yes what? Yes as in you are talking about Khanyisile Tau?” . “ Yes but that’s not the point…” . “ Get out of here! You dated the … You are a don! My boy, T-man is a mac!”, Cheddar praised. “Thanx but Let me finish the story: Her friend asked me not to contact her until after the funeral for the sake of church people’s curiosity”.
It didn’t make sense but Themba respected her wishes but couldn’t wait to see her even from a distance at the memorial service. Khanyi wore tight silky black dress and paraded through out the service and never came to greet Themba until they accidentally met at the gate when Themba was leaving. “She was with a white guy in suits and I assumed that he was one of her fathers ‘close friends because he was all over the place and even Khanyi’s mother was very fond of him”. Themba continued. “ When she recognized me she boldly said , ‘Oh hi Themba thanks for coming I didn’t know you would come but thank you. Oops sorry, I nearly became rude. Doug, this is Themba; Themba this Doug, my fiancé!”. Cheddar jumped in, “What?”. “Yah man, she said it! right there, man!”. Cheddar comforted him as if it is happening then, “Askies my guy” . Themba answered, “It’s ok, my guy. It’s a while ago but Jesus completely healed me”. “How did you deal with it bra? I would cut her into pieces”, Cheese-boy offered late advice in defence like Peter promising to protect Jesus.
“She cut me into pieces; I left quietly to respect the funeral and elders. I went home and cried for days bro! Her best friend tried warning me but I was stupid. Apparently the white dude is her manager and I was just a stupid guy who always talked about God with her. I know that I was a bit rigid but how can she tell the whole Soweto that I am stupid because I used to touch her and leave her while she was “ready” ? I thought she understood I was doing it because of love.”
At this moment an sms came in and Themba quickly read “ Can I see you tomorrow after work if ok? Love Khany” but he did not reply because he was giving Cheddar all the attention.
“I did something more stupid after telling my home boy who came for a visit. We started boozing and even though I was nailing the chicks left, right and centre; I couldn’t compete with Doug who took her to clubs like ZAR in Sandton. I never had peace, satisfaction and I felt like I was sinking further. My whole world was falling apart and the day I decided to take my life, I accidentally bumped into a Pastor on TV. He was preaching as if he was talking directly to me saying, “do not switch off or turn that Channel. God wants to save you. You have done all you can but only God can help you by His grace. Do not loose your life over some works of the devil. Just believe in your heart and I will pray with you…”. As he prayed, I felt peace and a little hope covering me and suicidal thoughts have left me. My old church members had abandoned me because I drank alcohol. So I decided to take a taxi every week to Randburg, and my life has never been the same.
“ So, it seems like everyone first go into some hectic stuff before God saves them.”, Cheddar wondered. “ No, God just turns any situation that was meant to harm you into something good through His love. I would be better to have never walked the devil’s paths. There are greater people like Joel Osteen who where raised and remained in church.
“I must admit that I always wanted to throw a million Rands parties and eat Sushi on naked women at ZAR but now I would rather be like you. You don’t have all these material things but you are content and happy. But I gotta say, I once thought it’s because you were gay or something. I mean I never thought a man would live… let’s just say you are just different from the Christians in my church and others I know!” said Cheddar.
“It’s all Jesus. You see, even science agrees that we are all born with a basic need to be loved. An Author, Gary Chapman wrote, ‘ Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave’. That’s why when we misbehave God doesn’t throw us to hell but He loves us. The Bible says that as the people sinned more, His grace became more; He loved us when we were still sinners and he gave His only begotten son to pay for our since proving His love. How crazy would he be if He later throws us to hell when we fail? H e knows that love is the power that would help us not to sin, not the laws of the religions. We cant do it on our own, it is only when our love tanks are filled that we can perform great. I am not worried of meeting wrong women like Khanyi because everyday, I fill my tank directly from the well and I am not intimidated by people who do wrong because I understand that the searching for love but in wrong sources. Players, thugs, prostitutes, gamblers, murderous everybody needs love and has the capacity to love once their tanks are filled. When we do all these funny things, God is not intimidated and angry at us because He has provided a solution, which is love, Jesus, for us as a solution. It’s up to us to receive it or choose hell. God knows that we would still stumble after repenting but the same love would pick us up like a mother does to a falling baby who is attempting to walk”
“Wow man, I have never heard anything like this before. I even feel so fine.” Cheddar confessed. Themba offered help, “I can lead you back to Jesus in prayer if you want.” replied Cheddar, “Of course my guy, I want it all”.
Themba prayed with Cheddar and rededicated his life to Christ.
Scripture reference
1 John 3: 20, Romans 7:17, John 3:16, Eph. 2:3 -9, Rom. 8:28, Rom:5:20, Psalm 37:24, Proverbs 24:16, 1 Cor. 13
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