We usually confine abuse into assault or physical abuse boundary because we can see the results but I talked to a sister who had a peculiar kind of abuse. Not every abused woman or child is going to appear in papers like Rihanna with a blue eye for people to see. Some people are abused for decades in secret because they do not bear the mark of the beast. Domestic violence is defined as physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, psychological, or economic abuse, intimidation, harassment, staking, damage to property and even any other controlling or abusive behaviour according to Domestic violence Act 116 of 1998.
A sister who was a part-time model and a final year student at UNISA Pretoria met an Engineer from Jozi and quickly moved into the next step of their love relationship. At 24 years of age, she wasn’t about to miss a marriage opportunity that “these Pretoria playing boys” would never offer her. Within a year she delivered a baby and the responsible engineer paid her family the damages, accepting both the girl and the baby into his care by his flat in Jozi where they have been vat en seting (cohabiting). She told me that her mother was more than happy because he “was going to marry her”. The sister was worried that her modelling agencies would reject her because of the baby even though she remained in shape throughout maternity. So, now that she had completed her studies, she took the baby to her mother and started job hunting.
Later, she could not handle the abuse when she decided to call her best friend and the unemployed ex-boyfriend together to reveal what has been going on in her life ( that nobody else saw). “He deletes my e-mails and answers my calls,… lock the doors…” she cried. We had to calm her down first so that we can hear what she is saying. Apparently Mr intelligent engineer kept deleting her job interview appointments in e-mails, tearing the letters from the post and declining job interviews telephonically on her behalf in her absence. For months prior this evil discovery, she had been anxious about getting a job but she got comforted by his caring self, who promised to take care of her financially. When she finally figured his evil out and confronted him, a monster that she did not know responded. He commanded her to settle down, take care of the child, be a wife and let him be the husband, “the provider”. Her parents would love these man commandments because after all that’s how they built their marriages successfully…. and the baby is there to seal the deal!
Who could see that a lucky beautiful woman engaged (or married or something of the 2 mixed) to an intelligent, successful, respected, responsible man who doesn’t drink or play hip hop music, would be economically abused?
There are women and children who are abused emotionally, psychologically and verbally, which I think it’s worse than physical abuse. An elderly woman that I know was abused verbally by her non-drinking good husband for years until she got stressed and developed a chronic disease. Psychologically, a person can be paralysed and be reduced to nothing. Many abused women stay in abusive relationships because they are abused psychologically and economically where they are brainwashed and intimidated to believe that they wouldn’t make it out of the relationship with their abusers. This is a lie from the pit of hell! We are not living in the 60’s, women are free to make a living even on their own. There is help available from government institutions, NGO’s and churches with structures to help getting any citizen back to life.
The Lord cares about the emotionally abused, no matter who they are.
Abraham’s wife, Sarah abused her Egyptian servant girl, Hagar but the Lord healed Hagar and blessed her for her troubles.
Gen 16:6-12 NLT Abram replied, "Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit." Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away. (7) The angel of the LORD found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur. (8) The angel said to her, "Hagar, Sarai's servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?" "I'm running away from my mistress, Sarai," she replied. (9) The angel of the LORD said to her, "Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority." (10) Then he added, "I will give you more descendants than you can count." (11) And the angel also said, "You are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means 'God hears'), for the LORD has heard your cry of distress. (12) This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives."
Hannah was abused by her husband’s wife but the Lord blessed her too.
1Sam 1:6-7 NLT So Peninnah would taunt Hannah and make fun of her because the LORD had kept her from having children. (7) Year after year it was the same—Peninnah would taunt Hannah as they went to the Tabernacle. Each time, Hannah would be reduced to tears and would not even eat.
1Sam 1:10 NLT Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the LORD.
1Sam 1:20 NLT and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, "I asked the LORD for him."
Never seize praying and think that the Lord does not hear or see you just because you do not bear the physical marks that you are being abused. The Lord sees you no matter who you are and He will deliver you and bless you highly! Seek help and get out while you still can! The Lord will bless you.
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